A friend recently directed me to a website (www.learningtoloveyourmore.com) that's put together by Miranda July and some other folks. They come up with assignments and people complete the assignments and send them in to be posted on the site. One of the assignments is "give advice to yourself at an earlier age", but I figured that really, if I need advice, I need it now, not at some point in the past, so here's my only very slightly edited list of advice to myself in the here and now. Feel free to comment on mine or add your own advice to yourself or whoever.
Advice to Crystal at age 25
Trust other people more and have more faith in everyone. You are constantly testing other people to see how much they love you. Stop that.
Figure our why you can’t keep your room clean. You like it better when it’s clean and the cats do too.
Stop being so worried about being lonely, but try to talk to people more and go to happy hour even when it makes you feel awkward and insecure. (addendum: have an actual conversation at the coffee shop today)
Really, there’s no need to start eating meat again. Chicken is kind of gross anyway.
You can’t make everything great right now so just try to love without getting so caught up in it.
Re-develop a habit of going to the gym because it makes you feel good and like your body more, but don’t become a vapid narcissist in the process.
Talk to your sister more often.
Develop real hobbies again, or at least interesting ways to fill your time, even if it’s knitting and that makes you feel like a cat lady.
You are naturally kind of lazy, so push yourself and when choosing between two things do the one that’s more interesting, not more comfortable.
Get drunk when you’re happy but try not to when you’re sad.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Sorry for not getting my shit together and posting more often. Drew's right, it's a lot of pressure.
Last weekend I rode the Flavors of Fall wave, which was so goddamn fun I literally suffered from withdrawal for a couple of days. There's something about getting 15 great friends together to eat and drink amazing amounts of food and wine and beer and whiskey that reminds you how much better it is than Thanksgiving with ones actual family. (and we're already planning Volume 3, the Illinois edition)
Sorry if this post is about to devolve into some trite "gosh we're all growing up" reflection, but we are, and it's pretty awesome actually. In college DF cut his face open trying to jump over a stop sign and CB (not me) was nearly expelled from the dorms for setting the bathroom on fire. Now we are a lawyer, a writer, an architect, a husband, a designer, a former accountant who just quit to open a nightclub. Some of us are still students and many of us are still artists, and I don't think we've lost much of the spark yet. But now we're also people who rent tables and chairs and buy tupperware and make cupcakes that look like turkeys (though to be fair that was brett's sister who did that).
Over the weekend I spent a lot of time thinking about how lucky we were to have each other like this (And how lucky I am in particular. I elbowed my way into these kids senior year when they had all been friends since the dorms and it may have been one of the best things I've done).
8000 calories later I crashed pretty hard. A friend warned me that the new york blues hits everyone after a few months. There are so many people and there's so much to do all the time, so feeling lonely can be so much more isolating and confusing than anywhere else.
But, I'm snapping out of it and wouldn't give up the weekend for the world. And here comes the cheesy part where I thank you all and say happy thanksgiving. :)
Last weekend I rode the Flavors of Fall wave, which was so goddamn fun I literally suffered from withdrawal for a couple of days. There's something about getting 15 great friends together to eat and drink amazing amounts of food and wine and beer and whiskey that reminds you how much better it is than Thanksgiving with ones actual family. (and we're already planning Volume 3, the Illinois edition)
Sorry if this post is about to devolve into some trite "gosh we're all growing up" reflection, but we are, and it's pretty awesome actually. In college DF cut his face open trying to jump over a stop sign and CB (not me) was nearly expelled from the dorms for setting the bathroom on fire. Now we are a lawyer, a writer, an architect, a husband, a designer, a former accountant who just quit to open a nightclub. Some of us are still students and many of us are still artists, and I don't think we've lost much of the spark yet. But now we're also people who rent tables and chairs and buy tupperware and make cupcakes that look like turkeys (though to be fair that was brett's sister who did that).
Over the weekend I spent a lot of time thinking about how lucky we were to have each other like this (And how lucky I am in particular. I elbowed my way into these kids senior year when they had all been friends since the dorms and it may have been one of the best things I've done).
8000 calories later I crashed pretty hard. A friend warned me that the new york blues hits everyone after a few months. There are so many people and there's so much to do all the time, so feeling lonely can be so much more isolating and confusing than anywhere else.
But, I'm snapping out of it and wouldn't give up the weekend for the world. And here comes the cheesy part where I thank you all and say happy thanksgiving. :)
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Bed-Stuy Do or Die
Some of you have had the great privilege of hanging out in my neighborhood, but for those who haven’t been so lucky, here is a little glimpse into life in the 11216.
Today as I was walking to the subway I saw a great chair sitting on the curb next to a bag of trash. It was small and cute and wooden and sturdy and I NEED a chair (and we need about 13 chairs for next weekends “Flavors of Fall” feast). So, I grabbed it and started walking back to my house.
Just when I was about to get my prize home, here’s what happened-
Man (visibly wobbling a bit and slurring his words, sorta saunters over to me): Hey! That’s MY chair!
Me: What? No, this was just sitting on the curb by the trash. (Remember this is a NICE chair and I NEED a chair!)
Man: No! That’s MY CHAIR. ASDFJASDFFF (something I couldn’t understand)
Me: Oh. You mean, you were planning to take it? (figuring at this point I might as well give it up if he had his eye on it first)
Man: Ticket?? I don’t got no Ticket! There’s no TICKET?!
Me: Uh. TAKE IT. Were you going to TAKE the CHAIR?
Woman (comes over from the stoop she was sitting on and starts yelling at me): JUST TAKE THE CHAIR! TAKE THE CHAIR. TAKE. THE. CHAIR.
Woman (yelling at the man): GIVE HER THE CHAIR. That ain’t your CHAIR! That AIN’T your CHAIR!
Woman (continuing to yell at me): TAKE THE CHAIR TAKE THE CHAIR!!!
Me: (grabbing the chair, running into apartment) Uh. Thanks!
Man (yelling after me): Don’t say black people never did nothing for you!!
Today as I was walking to the subway I saw a great chair sitting on the curb next to a bag of trash. It was small and cute and wooden and sturdy and I NEED a chair (and we need about 13 chairs for next weekends “Flavors of Fall” feast). So, I grabbed it and started walking back to my house.
Just when I was about to get my prize home, here’s what happened-
Man (visibly wobbling a bit and slurring his words, sorta saunters over to me): Hey! That’s MY chair!
Me: What? No, this was just sitting on the curb by the trash. (Remember this is a NICE chair and I NEED a chair!)
Man: No! That’s MY CHAIR. ASDFJASDFFF (something I couldn’t understand)
Me: Oh. You mean, you were planning to take it? (figuring at this point I might as well give it up if he had his eye on it first)
Man: Ticket?? I don’t got no Ticket! There’s no TICKET?!
Me: Uh. TAKE IT. Were you going to TAKE the CHAIR?
Woman (comes over from the stoop she was sitting on and starts yelling at me): JUST TAKE THE CHAIR! TAKE THE CHAIR. TAKE. THE. CHAIR.
Woman (yelling at the man): GIVE HER THE CHAIR. That ain’t your CHAIR! That AIN’T your CHAIR!
Woman (continuing to yell at me): TAKE THE CHAIR TAKE THE CHAIR!!!
Me: (grabbing the chair, running into apartment) Uh. Thanks!
Man (yelling after me): Don’t say black people never did nothing for you!!
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