it lives up to the hype

(This is hard to write because I keep wanting to just curl up with my memories and not put them down on the screen)

I guess since tomorrow is new year's eve and all it's appropriate to look back at the year. All in all I think I came a long way, and I don't just mean moving from one coast to the other.

A year ago I had just sent in my application to NYU, almost on a whim, and decided no matter what to leave Santa Barbara as soon as I could, and now I'm here, living in Brooklyn (the sign I saw today on the I-278 said "Welcome to Brooklyn: It lives up to the hype")

I had some really scary moments where I thought I might lose my dad and some scary moments where I thought I was losing myself.

I did some hurtful things that I thought I would never be capable of and hope I'll never do again. I think above all, this has been a year of getting to know myself, of being able to hold up my flaws to the light to examine them, to try to understand them, and in some cases accept them.

On the other hand I've been able to be honest with myself about those parts of me that are strong and sometimes even beautiful. I've taken risks and tried to learn how to be someone other people can count on.

I finished my first semester of grad school, read some amazing books, watched a lot of bad tv, ate more pizza than I ever did in college, saw my odometer pass the 200,000 mark, fell in love with my friends, cried some, laughed some more.

Enough with the hallmark movie review of my year:) I think I'll take some time alone with my memories now and perhaps tomorrow I'll have some thoughts to post on the year to come.

update

I'm a week into following my own advice and I'd say I'm doing pretty well. Went to TWO happy hours, the gym three times, called my sister, knit a scarf, tried out a new existential approach to love, and have thus far stayed away from chicken.

So why, then, has this general feeling of malaise and Angela Chase-esque angst refused to go away? Could it be because I haven't yet cleaned my room? More likely it's because it's snowing and the barista at this coffee shop likes to play Elliott Smith and Leonard Cohen back to back.

gah.