Not as scary as a revolving door but...

There are a few things that I’m pretty afraid of. Marriage, revolving doors, and death by an intruder are up there at the top of the list, but a close runner up is the fear that I’ll become an insomniac.

I love sleeping of all kind (going to bed early, sleeping in, cat naps, power naps, napping at lunch time, napping at night before going out late, etc.) and I’m miserable when I don’t do enough of it. The idea that I might have the opportunity and desire to sleep but simply not be able to is for some reason horrifying. (watching the insomnia scenes in Fight Club is painful)

So the fact that for the past month or so I’ve had only 1-2 nights of good uninterrupted sleep is a little worrisome.

Here’s a list of absolutely true things that have kept me awake or woken me in the middle of the night, from the past 30 days. Let me know what you think. I've only got 22, probably because I left out the best ones ;)

1. Contacts were in plastic cups next to the bed and I was afraid I’d knock them over and be blinded and useless
2. Cell phone was dead and there were no other clocks, so I was afraid of oversleeping
3. Suddenly terrified of becoming a “bad person”
4. Good book
5. School
6. Work
7. Working while in school
8. Simply too drunk to sleep well
9. Number 8 again, a few times
10. Moving to NY
11. Leaving Denver (slight permutation on 10)
12. Sharing bed with snorer
13. Sharing bed with blanket hog
14. Sharing bed with unintentional spooner (Lindsay, I’m calling you out on this one)
15. No bed at all
16. Afraid of falling in love
17. Afraid of not falling in love
18. Too hot
19. Too cold
20. Thunderstorm
21. Cats using bed to stage ultimate feline fighting championship

not in kansas

So, folks playing along at home may know that I just finished my cross-country odyssey and landed in Brooklyn Wednesday night...about the same time as this TORNADO. Yup, a tornado in Brooklyn. WTF?

The subway was FLOODED and trains weren't running into Manhattan, so I let D borrow the car to drive his lady friend to work in the city. (isn't this exciting? D and the Volvo! Recurring characters!) On the way they picked up a desperate hitchhiker on the Manhattan Bridge who happened to work for the Colbert Report and who gave us 4 VIP tickets to the show out of gratitude.

So there you go. Happy first day in New York! We went to the taping and it was for some reason twice as funny in person. I sat in the front row (if you watch it you can glimpse my red shirt when they pan across the audience in between the 1st 2 segments.)

I wish this were funnier. I also wish I hadn't already told the story to 3 of the 4 1/2 people who ever read this blog. But, I'm a New Yorker now, so I guess I just can't be bothered by what you think. I will from now on start every sentence with I.