So I’ve indirectly been the subject of some criticism lately. It comes from a close friend so aside from being particularly prickly, it also, I think, merits some attention. So, I’m broaching the subject here for you loyal few to solicit your honest thoughts. (And no, this isn’t just an attempt to move onto my “turf” in hopes of garnering support. It’s a sincere attempt at dialogue).
For those too lazy to click the link, Emily is essentially saying that if one has a blog, it should be uncensored, raw, and not based on what other people (bosses, lovers, etc) might think of it. Otherwise the blog, and I guess the author by extension, risks becoming pointless and dull.
In her (rather direct) words:
So many people have mentioned to me lately that they -have to be- exquisitely careful about what they blog about these days. Their sister or boss or former troop leader or unknown future crush might - whoa there - read it and think new thoughts about the author. Author might then cry into his soup about the newly visible depth in his personality.
Blogs that began kind of interesting and poked at touchy ideas and spoke from the heart become reduced to some kind of greatest common factor conversation. Water cooler talk, or grossly edited emotion, like when someone wins an Oscar. Topics that are leastly offensive and rarely interesting. Pretty, unfelt phrases. It bothers me.
I gotta admit that stings a little and it’s hard to not take criticism like “grossly edited emotion” and “pretty, unfelt phrases” personally. But, I am certainly guilty of the root complaint here, in fact early on I actually asked Ems to remove a comment because it mentioned the organization I work for.
So the question for you all is, where do we draw the line? Is it advisable or even possible to try to keep different pieces of oneself reserved for different people? Is it just out of fear that we try to quarantine bits of our lives, or is there more at play?
As always, I try to have my cake and eat it too. I think it IS possible to have something interesting to say (though apparently I’ve failed) while not giving away the emotional store, or hurting other people, or risking some sort of professional demotion, informal or formal. There must be some middle ground between “today I had toast for breakfast” and “God, I hope I’m not pregnant. If I am I’m not sure what I’m going to do.”
Anyway, opening up the floor and eagerly awaiting your thoughts.
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2 comments:
I've gone back and forth on it a little bit. Back in the day when I started blogging on MySpace, I was Mr. Put it All Out There. Usually done at 2am after a number of drinks. By myself. After a hurtful breakup. As you might imagine the posts were very much of they, 'Life is meaningless and I hate it' variety.
This lead to many worried phone calls from friends. I posted some things that were (accidentally) hurtful to people I didn't intend to hurt. Also, upon review, it made for pretty boring reading. I mean, yah, broken heart, ok, now what?
So I switched gears and started thinking of blogging as more a)an outlet for creative endeavors and a place to practice writing where I could hopefully get some honest feedback and b) a place to have fun- tell funny stories point out funny things, etc.
Now, I don't think my current blog would have many readers, nor be very interesting if there were no soul - but I also think if there were too much, it would boooooring in the extreme.
I don't know about everyone else, but I certainly portray a different persona depending on the situation. I think the same is somewhat true of blogging. When sitting around the back picnic table, I don't just rail off everything inside me. On whiskey mondays, yes, but generally no.
Emily mentioned bosses, co-workers, lovers, ex-lovers, etc., and I would assume most of us behave differently around each of those categories of people. I know I don't place nipple clamps on my boss in the same way I don't expect my roomates to offer a performance evaluation and give me a raise. The difference in the blogosphere is you don't have control over who sees your 'persona', so a little caution seems ok to me.
Not writing completely devoid of personality and style, mind you.
Maybe I'd compare it to the wonderful site, postsecret. Would that be as interesting if people's names, addresses, and emails were there? No. And there's no way they would be as honest. I can't imagine people sending in thousands of confessions to 'postpublic'.
Also, as a reader, I don't WANT to know everything. I don't want raw emotion so much. It's like (and this may be a horrific simile), I'm really not crazy about seeing lots of bellies and thongs all over the place (even though, for the record, I like bellies and ass cracks). I like a little left to the imagination - same with blogging. I like to see the cute sweater and mid-length skirt of the blogosphere, and then be left to wonder what else is there.
whoa whoa whoa whoa.
the blog wasn't directed at you. i felt your blog fits that category at times but it's not an indictment of your topics. please don't think i think that of you. i like your blog. i read it all the time. i wouldn't if i didn't find it, and you, and even your most careful comments to be interesting and well-written.
many folks i know have said the same thing as you've said to me... "i don't know what to write anymore b/c x y z may read it and read p q r s into it."
my point is not that you can't reserve portions of yourself for specific people, or that everyone need be exposed to your guts. jesus... imagine if all the blogosphere was like that first-year poetry class where everyone just has to air their terriblest parts out. i just hate that people freak out the second people start reading their blogs and feel like they can't communicate freely. that's really it.
from a person who has spent a large part of life cultivating several arms and legs of a personality - the work me, the family me, the romantic me, the far leftist me, the ok maybe the right isn't evil incarnate me, the college me, the post-college me - it just got exhausting trying to make sure these were kept separate. schizo, really. and maybe that's an issue others don't have. but if you're publishing your thoughts, it's nice when they aren't all safesafesafesafesafesafesafe. otherwise the value of publishing gets lost.
i don't want to see dirty panties either, y'know. and i'm not hating on anyone. just the trend.
em
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